The x-men watch a home movie
by Rogue8
Summary: Um...the x-men watch video of their new year's party. Basicaly an excuse to get Scott to sing this one Green Day song.


The x-men watch a home movie.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't on them. I don't own the songs. The characters belong to Marvel. The songs, in order of use, belong to Green Day, 98 degrees, Goo Goo Dolls, 98 degrees again, and Everclear. I revised some of the songs to fit a little better. Especially the one Jean sings, hehehe.  
  
Author's notes: Pointless, stupid, idiotic, mind numbing... Oh, and if you haven't seen Lair of the white worm', which is just mentioned in passing, and only because it's so bad, you should. Purely because it is bad. At least that's what I think.  
  
Jubilee ran her finger over the labels on the video tapes as she read them out loud. Workout stuff, Rogue...Lair of the White Worm, bobby...he's got to have the worst taste in movies...Strange Brew, Wolvie...Cheech and Chong, Remy...last year's team picnic, gotta be the professor's...boy's locker room security tape, Scott's...hey, this looks good, the new year's eve party. she popped the video in the VCR and hit play as Bobby walked into the room.  
What're you watching?  
A tape of the last new year's party.  
Bobby fell onto the couch next to her. While they suffered through Scott's speech about how great of a team they were, Jean, Cable, Professor X, Wolverine, Gambit, Betsy and Rogue filled into the room and sat down, Cable, Rogue and Gambit pushing Bobby and Jubilee off the couch.  
This is boring, let's watch somethin' else. Jubilee started to complain.  
Jean shushed her and told her to sit back down, It's almost to the good part.   
  
The camera panned across the bar and settled on Scott and Jean's table.  
  
This is some crappy camera work, who filmed this? jubilee asked loudly. Cable glared at her from behind and wished he still carried around that big gun for a second. I'm sorry that my stopping Apocalypse from destroying our reality kept me from being Steven Spielberg.  
You should be.  
Cable opened his mouth to yell something at her, or possibly to issue a battle cry as he attacked her, but Jean silenced him, This is the good part.  
Cable leaned back and everyone stared at the screen.   
  
Scott walked on stage and picked up the microphone to the Kareoke machine. Uh, I'd like to dedicate this song to Jean...I guess this explanation has been coming for a while...I finally found a way to tell you... he made sure the CD was set to the right song and waited for the music to start.   
  
Hey, that's Green Day! I know this song.  
  
What, just because I'm old-  
-and bald, Jubilee said.  
-and the only woman you like lives millions of light years away, Bobby said.  
-and ya' ain't got no taste in clothes, Rogue added.  
Okay, I get the point!  
Shh, I'm trying to hear.  
Everyone turned back to the TV as Scott started to sing.  
  
Started at the age of 4. My mother went to the grocery store. Went sneaking through her bedroom door to find something in a size 4. Sugar and spice and everything nice wasn't made for only girls. GI Joe in panty hose-  
  
Please tell me this is a joke.  
  
-King for a day, princess by dawn. King for a day in a leather thong. King for a day, princess by dawn. Just wait 'til all the guys get a load of me. My daddy threw me out of a plane. He thinks I'm not a real man.  
  
We were all pretty drunk, I don't even remember what happened. Betsy said.  
Wolverine had to try hard to keep from laughing, remembering Betsy's little dance on top of the bar.  
  
-Sugar and spice and everything nice wasn't made for only girls. GI Joe in panty hose is making room for the one and only. King for a day, princess by dawn. King for a day in a leather-  
  
But wasn't Scott the designated driver?  
Hey, he was! Wait, that means he was sober. Jean said as she thought, *I thought it was weird he was trying on that bra he said he bought for me...*  
Wolverine looked back up at the TV. Jean was about to sing. They'd both had a good night because of that song.  
  
Jean stumbled onto the stage and set the machine. Since you dediba- dadicat- sang that for me, I got one for you, Scott.  
  
Don't drink very often, do you, Jean?  
Shut up! she said and hid her face in her hands, turning bright red.  
  
We both know that I shouldn't be here This is wrong And baby it's killin' me, not killin' you You could've tried t' be strong-  
  
Are you implying something here, Jean? Wolverine said with a glint in his eye.  
  
  
-Someone who loves women and can pleasure me I've made up my mind I don't want to turn back He's good in bed And I deserve at least that It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do To look you in the eye And tell you I once loved you It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie To show some emotion When you start to cry I can't let you see That you don't mean anything to me-  
  
Hey, guys, what're you... Scott said as he walked into the room, but trailed off as he saw the screen.  
  
-And my heart's now free We're not meant to be It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do To turn around and walk away Pretending I once loved you I know that we'll meet again Fate is so cruel So you can go get a life I want to be cruel, not be kind-  
  
Scott asked as he took a step closer.  
  
Do you mean that?  
  
-And you will never know that I would be the happy ending.  
  
Yeah...I guess so...  
This is great! Scott said.  
  
Now I can make public my relationship, Scott told them and they all turned to look at him. I'm going out with Toad!  
Uh, that's nice?  
  
Well, I started thinking about that tongue and-  
Cable covered his ears and started to hum loudly, then to scream, NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS!  
Cable, I need to tell you something. Wolverine said.  
Cable asked, cautiously uncovering his ears.  
He's not really your dad. Wolverine said, I am!  
Cable yelled and wrapped his arms around Wolverine.  
Hey, let go of me! You have you're mom's grip. Cable shudders at the thought and backs away.  
Rogue Gambit don' member, what yo' sing?  
Ah didn't sing. Did ah?  
Yo' on now.  
  
Remy, ah think this song is how ah feel...  
  
Yo' t'ink? Yo' doin' know how yo' feel bout Remy? Remy hurt, chere.  
Shut up, swamprat.  
  
-I'd give up forevah to touch yah but ah still feel yah roamin' round in mah head You're the closest to a boyfriend that I'll ever have And Ah don't know where home is right now And all Ah can taste is this moment And all Ah can breath is your life Cuz if ah kiss yah it's over But Ah don't want to kiss yah tonight-  
  
You really butchered this song, Rogue.  
Would it help if ah kissed yah, Bobby?  
he said then after a minute, hey, wait a minute...  
  
-Ah just want to know who Ah am And yah can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When I kiss yah yah stop movin', Yeah, you'd bleed but ah don't know if you're still alive-  
  
For a southerner, you don't handle alcohol well, either.  
Rogue jumped up off the couch and hit fast forward. Let's skip t' somebody else.  
she stopped the VCR and pushed play.  
Hey, why's Magneto at the party? Bobby asked as Magneto walked onstage and picked up the mic.  
Pr X said quickly.  
Xavier and magneto sittin' in a tree-  
Stop before I wipe you mind clean of that useless boy band knowledge!  
Jubilee closed her mouth and turned around to watch Magneto sing.  
  
It's all... It's all You're my sunshine after the rain You're the cure against my fear and my pain 'Cause I lost my mind When you dated a girl It's all, it's all It's all because of you You're my sunshine Always baldy I really know by now since we met that day You said that one day We'd lived in peace with human's how, I can't describe-  
  
Everyone turned and looked at Pr x curiously.  
What? We were drunk!  
  
And if only you were evil I'd tell you yes I'd tell you oh yeah You're my sunshine after the rain You're the cure against my fear and my pain 'Cause I lost my mind When you dated a girl It's all, it's all It's all because of you-  
  
All the guys got up and went to stand on the other side of the room, except for Scott, who stood right behind Xavier and whispered something in his ear. Pr X's eyes got really wide and he turned around so he could see Scott. Really? He can? Scott nodded smugly and Xavier got a big smile.  
  
-'Cause when I close my eyes at night I realize that no one else Could ever take your place I still can feel and it's so real When you're touching me Kisses endlessly It's just a place in the sun, Where our love's begun I miss you yes I miss you Oh baldy yeah You're my sunshine after the rain You're the cure against my fear and my pain 'Cause I lost my mind when you dated that girl It's all, it's all It's all because of you If I knew how to tell you What's on my mind Make you understand Then I pull you over here By that metal hoverchair You're my sunshine after the rain You're the cure against my fear and my pain 'Cause I'm losing my mind When you get real mad It's all because of you. Magneto set down the microphone and walked over and kissed pr. x.  
I'm flattered, Maggy, but disturbed at the same time...  
  
You should be.  
Mind wipe.  
Shutting up.  
You've all made complete idiots of yourselves! This's great!  
Wait a minute before you say that, Cable.  
Oh, shit.  
  
Father of mine, tell me where have you been? You know I just closed my eyes, my whole world disappeared. Father of mine, take me back to the present. Yeah, when I was still your golden boy back before you went away. I remember blue skies, from the spaceship. I loved it when you flew it high, I loved to hear it talk. You would take me to the moon. You would take me to the beach-  
  
I REALLY wish I still had that gun. I wonder how hard it would be to blow up the TV without hurting anyone...  
  
-You spent some time in the future with you wife to raise me. Yeah, I never understood it then but you called yourselves red and slym. Daddy gave me a name, then he sent me to the future. My dad, he gave me a long name. Father of mine, tell me when have you been? Yeah, I just closed my eyes and you went back through time. Father of mine, tell me how do you sleep with the professor at night and toad in the day. I will never be safe. I will never be sane. because you sent me to a future when I had to fight Apocalypse Now I am a grown man with a arm of T.O., and I swear I'm not gonna let you go send me through time again-  
  
The TV screen was suddenly blasted out and Cable blew the smoke from the end of one of those really big guns he carried in the early 90's.  
Knew I kept one of these around here somewhere. he said, then erased the last two minutes from everyone's minds.  
Hey, what happened to the TV?  
  
Yeah, I know, it was stupid.


End file.
